Change can be a wonderful opportunity. It’s an opportunity for us to transform from who we are into who we really want to be. However, when we first encounter a major life change, it may not feel like an opportunity! Being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness does not feel like an opportunity. Your partner leaving you for someone else does not feel like an opportunity. Losing your job, having to take care of an elderly parent, and so many more life changes do not initially strike us as an opportunity. Many times major life changes painfully slam into us, uninvited and unwelcomed. Sometimes, however, they occur because we have not done anything, having not attended to things numbly, until they reach a crisis point. We have all denied something until it reached a pitch so loud that it finally did get our attention. Either way, our initial feeling is NOT one of “Wow! What an opportunity!” Even when we know in the very back of our minds that the situation we are now facing may provide an opportunity for us to grow, have or do better, be more authentic, it takes a bit of time and a shift in our thought to realize that it is an opportunity. For example, when the last child leaves the nest, and you have thought about all the freedom that gives you, initially it is very strange and uncomfortable, making you wonder if it really is an opportunity. A friend of mine refers to such situations as an “AGE” – another growth experience. Except that she usually claims that they are “AFGE’s” – well, you know what the additional letter stands for! Often our reaction is shock, which is then followed by angst about how to deal with this life changing situation. To say it creates disequilibrium is an understatement. The feelings that we have about such changes are much like those in the Kubler-Ross grief cycle: shock, denial, anger, bargaining (seeking in vain for a way out), depression, testing (seeking realistic solutions), and acceptance. When you find yourself in an AGE, reaching out for assistance is of great help. With assistance you can move through the experience much more easily. There are steps that you can take to work through your feelings, shift your thinking, and turn the situation into an opportunity. Whether you seek a counselor, a clergy person, or a coach, take care of yourself and allow yourself the support you will need. In peace and love, Dr. Anita V. All writings here are copyrighted by SmartMoments® and/or Dr. Anita V. You may not use them without written permission; however, you may link to the posts or give out a link to the posts. |
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